. Sometimes I have intrusive thoughts that, for example, if I anger someone, God will punish me back. If I get angry with someone, something

. I made a lot of mistakes, I made more mistakes than many, I think more than anyone who is still alive, but please ask

. I was baptised when i was younger but i didnt live the christian life like i should. I didnt go to church as much

. I don’t want convincing or re-assuring at this moment. That is for me to figure out. I just need to vent because I feel

. I feel I need to give up on Christianity. Been saved 10yrs but I just dont feel close or loving towards God. In fact

. I pray and I thank God daily for what he has gave me. In my prayers I have accepted jesus Christ died on the

. everyday it’s endless distractions to not cut myself, relapsing, repenting, relapsing, trying to stay clean, all while hiding this from everyone. i’m tired, i

. Intellectually, I have fully convinced myself. I have read many arguments for God, and I do know that God is real. I just don’t

. Willfully sinning. Im afraid, I feel condemned, I feel empty, I keep having blasphemy’s thought about God and the word everything. I just to