.
Everything seems to be falling apart and I pray sometimes hours a day. I’ve had a vision during prayer before in the past and I know those are insanely rare. But I feel like that 1 brought me closer to God but 2 now it’s left me feeling like an addict wanting him to speak more to me. Let me start by saying I read scripture and Im already praying. The answers im looking for arnt in the bible. But I need answers I keep going off what I feel in my gut is right and I keep failing even when trying to do the right thing it turns out bad somehow. I also get angry at God and these comments that are like oh you need to do this or that and its stuff I’ve already been trying. God is real I know he is but why is he shutting me out and allowing me to walk into this? I know these are my mistakes and my sins but why cant he guide me or comfort me in the bad times why do I feel forsaken? I can tell you I am going to remain faithful to God however I have random pop up thoughts of suicide again. Last time this happened I ended up on the other side of the world in an abandoned wooden church laying on the ground hugging a cross begging for him for months and all I could do was lay there with cable wrapped around my throat hopping id have the courage to end my life but didnt because of the fear of going to hell.
.
God causes us to be ruined because of our sins; He allows us to become sick, and even to see our families broken. The greatest reason for this is that, through such ruin, we may rely and depend only on Him, take up our cross completely, and live the life of Christ—pursuing the love of Christ with the hope of Christ as our goal. By bringing ruin upon those who follow created things, He does so that they may no longer chase after what is created, but instead live the life of Christ, pursuing the hope of Christ. For this very reason, He allows sickness, ruin, and even the breaking of families.
For the earnest expectation of the creature waiteth for the manifestation of the sons of God. For the creature was made subject to vanity, not willingly, but by reason of him who hath subjected the same in hope, Because the creature itself also shall be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation groaneth and travaileth in pain together until now. And not only they, but ourselves also, which have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting for the adoption, to wit, the redemption of our body. For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for?(Romans 8 : 19~24)
Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man: But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.(James 1 : 13~15)
For he doth not afflict willingly nor grieve the children of men. To crush under his feet all the prisoners of the earth, To turn aside the right of a man before the face of the most High, To subvert a man in his cause, the Lord approveth not. Who is he that saith, and it cometh to pass, when the Lord commandeth it not? Out of the mouth of the most High proceedeth not evil and good? Wherefore doth a living man complain, a man for the punishment of his sins? Let us search and try our ways, and turn again to the LORD. Let us lift up our heart with our hands unto God in the heavens.(Lamentations 3 : 33~41)
Wherefore doth a living man complain, a man for the punishment of his sins?(Lamentations 3 : 39)
For if after they have escaped the pollutions of the world through the knowledge of the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, they are again entangled therein, and overcome, the latter end is worse with them than the beginning. For it had been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than, after they have known it, to turn from the holy commandment delivered unto them. But it is happened unto them according to the true proverb, The dog is turned to his own vomit again; and the sow that was washed to her wallowing in the mire.(2 Peter 2 : 20~22)
Lest there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright. For ye know how that afterward, when he would have inherited the blessing, he was rejected: for he found no place of repentance, though he sought it carefully with tears.(Hebrews 12 : 16~17)
Do not become a religionist who, bound by evil habits of sin, spends an entire lifetime repeating sin until the day of death. Christians are not true disciples of Christ. Those who merely talk about love with words, or parade it for show—whether in Christianity or in Catholicism—are never true Christians. Behold the limitation of countless Christians: though they sin and regret it, they turn back and commit sin again, caught in an endless cycle of sin’s bondage. In other words, the form of repenting and reflecting yet turning back to sin again means that they have no way to remove sin, nor do they know the cause that makes them repeat it without end. The human limitation of repeating sin throughout one’s whole life is the same as that of all secular people and all religionists of the world, who likewise repeat sin. This is the grim reality of Christians today, and in this they are no different at all from the people of the world.
Why do you believe in God? Many believe in Him solely for their own happiness, blessings, success, and prosperity, and as a result, they end up seeking nothing but the lust of the eyes and the pride of life, which are bound to become sin. As a result, all of them offer vain prayers before God, and this is the pitiful reality of Christians today.
Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.(1 John 2 : 15~16)
Because they believe in God while at the same time clinging to the world and material things, they end up believing in every form of corruption, heresy, and falsehood, and thus all alike seek only their own greed and lusts. Those who seek material things are ruled by the god of material things; those who seek the things of the world are ruled by the god of the world; those who seek lust are ruled by the god of lust; those who seek the flesh are ruled by the god of the flesh. These appear disguised as though they were God, as though they were Christ, or as though they were angels. But it is not God who is at work. Is it not true that the prayers of Christians are nothing more than the desires, hopes, and ideals of the flesh, driven by the cravings of the body like all the rest of the world? In other words, these are not the hope of Christ’s salvation that true Christians, who live the life of Christ, long for.
And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as he is pure. Whosoever committeth sin transgresseth also the law: for sin is the transgression of the law. And ye know that he was manifested to take away our sins; and in him is no sin. Whosoever abideth in him sinneth not: whosoever sinneth hath not seen him, neither known him. Little children, let no man deceive you: he that doeth righteousness is righteous, even as he is righteous. He that committeth sin is of the devil; for the devil sinneth from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil. Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God. In this the children of God are manifest, and the children of the devil: whosoever doeth not righteousness is not of God, neither he that loveth not his brother.(1 John 3 : 3~10)
But God be thanked, that ye were the servants of sin, but ye have obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine which was delivered you. Being then made free from sin, ye became the servants of righteousness. I speak after the manner of men because of the infirmity of your flesh: for as ye have yielded your members servants to uncleanness and to iniquity unto iniquity; even so now yield your members servants to righteousness unto holiness. For when ye were the servants of sin, ye were free from righteousness. What fruit had ye then in those things whereof ye are now ashamed? for the end of those things is death. But now being made free from sin, and become servants to God, ye have your fruit unto holiness, and the end everlasting life. For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.(Romans 6 : 17~23)
The children of God do not commit sin, but are set free from sin, and they seek the power of God in order to bear the fruit of love that leads to God’s holiness and to grow into His character. Yet today, prayers within a fleshly faith are, without exception, driven automatically by the lusts of the flesh and of the world, seeking only personal happiness, blessings, and ideals. Therefore, fleshly faith inevitably becomes an enemy and adversary before God. The faith of Christians, who repent yet turn back to commit sin again in the vicious cycle of piling up more and more sin, is almost always a shameless faith—one that regards their sins more and more lightly, grows increasingly bold in their sins, and even becomes brazen and unashamed about them. Because of this, their conscience becomes more and more desolate, and most are left with a faith that is impoverished, empty, and increasingly dry. Do not believe according to your own tastes and claims, but measure yourself against the Word of Scripture, and do not miss this final opportunity to examine who you truly are.
Hold yourself up to the Word as to a mirror and closely examine what you are; you will come to know for yourself that you are a sinner. “Christians” are not disciples of Christ. Because they live by the flesh, no different from the people of the world, and because of the sins of the flesh, they are merely religionists bound for judgment—no different from Judaism—who despise God’s holy will and disgrace the love of the cross.
God gave us prayer so that we might abandon the flesh, which cannot help but repeat sin, and live the life of Christ—the life of the Spirit—pursuing the love of the cross to the point of laying down even His life. In other words, we are not to live a worldly and fleshly life that endlessly repeats sin born of lust and desire until death, but instead to live the life of Christ, pursuing the hope of Christ in which the power of God works through His love. The divine power is given to those who live such a life. The outcome and fruit of faith differ entirely depending on whether one lives for the world or according to the will of God.
For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world; Looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Saviour Jesus Christ; Who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works. These things speak, and exhort, and rebuke with all authority. Let no man despise thee.(Titus 2 : 11~15)
But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ: From whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love.(Ephesians 4 : 15~16)
Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness? But God be thanked, that ye were the servants of sin, but ye have obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine which was delivered you. Being then made free from sin, ye became the servants of righteousness.(Romans 6 : 16~18)
For when ye were the servants of sin, ye were free from righteousness. What fruit had ye then in those things whereof ye are now ashamed? for the end of those things is death. But now being made free from sin, and become servants to God, ye have your fruit unto holiness, and the end everlasting life. For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.(Romans 6 : 20~23)
If thou put the brethren in remembrance of these things, thou shalt be a good minister of Jesus Christ, nourished up in the words of faith and of good doctrine, whereunto thou hast attained.(1 Timothy 4 : 6)
Among whom also we all had our conversation in times past in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind; and were by nature the children of wrath, even as others….(Ephesians 2 : 3~7)
Whoever continues to repeat sin is a slave of sin and a child of the devil. The form of Christians who mistakenly believe themselves to be children of God is far from being an example or model like the light and salt; rather, their faith consists of a lifetime of only teaching with words and only listening with ears. They all alike pretend to be holy, pretend to be kind, pretend to be good, pretend to be humble, and pretend to be gentle, yet their actions inside the church and outside are different, their outward appearance and inward reality are different, their words and their deeds are different. It is a duplicitous and cunning faith, filled with hypocrisy, pretension, and the polished tactics of pretense. No matter how much they awaken, resolve, and determine, they cannot be reborn, changed, or transformed, for they always turn back to pursue their own interests according to personal gain. Thus, they become enslaved within the habit of repeating sin throughout their lifetime. Such awakenings, resolutions, and determinations of believers cannot bring about true renewal, but only remain bound in the limitations of the flesh that cannot help but turn back to sin. Their faith is like squirrels running endlessly in a wheel, spinning in circles without ever escaping.
The love of God works with the power of love in those who pursue the hope of Christ, leading them to receive the divine nourishment by which they are born again, renewed, and transformed. In other words, the love of God is poured into those who hold the hope of Christ, so that His love becomes their nourishment and their power, enabling them to overcome the human limitations of the body and its sinful habits, and to put them to death. This is the truth, and the very purpose of prayer. Yet all Christian pastors, alike, rely only on words and theories born of human knowledge, human wisdom, and human opinions, preaching according to their own tastes. As a result, all believers are left repeating nothing but their own awakenings, resolutions, and determinations, leaning only on themselves. The outcome of such human teaching and emotional inspiration is a faith of the flesh, bound by human limitations, unable to escape a lifetime of repeating sin, with consciences seared so that they feel no conviction of guilt.
That their hearts might be comforted, being knit together in love, and unto all riches of the full assurance of understanding, to the acknowledgement of the mystery of God, and of the Father, and of Christ; In whom are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. … Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ. For in him dwelleth all the fulness of the Godhead bodily.(Colossians 2 : 2~9)
Wherefore if ye be dead with Christ from the rudiments of the world, why, as though living in the world, are ye subject to ordinances, (Touch not; taste not; handle not; Which all are to perish with the using;) after the commandments and doctrines of men? Which things have indeed a shew of wisdom in will worship, and humility, and neglecting of the body; not in any honour to the satisfying of the flesh.(Colossians 2 : 20~23)
But now, after that ye have known God, or rather are known of God, how turn ye again to the weak and beggarly elements, whereunto ye desire again to be in bondage? Ye observe days, and months, and times, and years. I am afraid of you, lest I have bestowed upon you labour in vain.(Galatians 4 : 9~11)
For we are unto God a sweet savour of Christ, in them that are saved, and in them that perish: To the one we are the savour of death unto death; and to the other the savour of life unto life. And who is sufficient for these things? For we are not as many, which corrupt the word of God: but as of sincerity, but as of God, in the sight of God speak we in Christ.(2 Corinthians 2 : 15~17)
But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man’s conscience in the sight of God. But if our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost:(2 Corinthians 4 : 2~3)
Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled.(2 Corinthians 10 : 5~6)
As also in all his epistles, speaking in them of these things; in which are some things hard to be understood, which they that are unlearned and unstable wrest, as they do also the other scriptures, unto their own destruction.(2 Peter 3 : 16~17)
Faith is determined entirely by the purpose for which one believes. Those who serve God while clinging to the world and material things cannot help but pursue corruption, heresy, and falsehood. Therefore, most of them, one and all, put worldly teachings, worldly knowledge, and all sorts of trivial worldly justifications at the forefront, and with them, they forcefully interpret the words of Scripture with suitable morality and worldly lessons and inspirations for the sake of success, happiness, and prosperity. God is love.
The truth is that it leads us to obtain the power of God that is revealed within this love. The true shepherd of God is the one who leads us to receive the power of God that works to put to death the fundamental habits that otherwise cause us to repeat sin. But because people spend their whole lives chasing after teachings and inspirations that are nothing more than words, relying only on themselves, their own willpower, pride, and resolutions, they remain bound by the limitations of the flesh and inevitably continue to repeat sin. The tragic reality of Christians is that they mistake human teachings and emotional impressions for God’s grace or God’s inspiration. As their consciences grow increasingly desolate, they cannot help but live a continuous life of deprivation, emptiness, anxiety, and thirst.
Even him, whose coming is after the working of Satan with all power and signs and lying wonders, And with all deceivableness of unrighteousness in them that perish; because they received not the love of the truth, that they might be saved. And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie: That they all might be damned who believed not the truth, but had pleasure in unrighteousness.….(2 Thessalonians 2 : 9~17)
We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren. He that loveth not his brother abideth in death.(1 John 3 : 14)
Beloved, follow not that which is evil, but that which is good. He that doeth good is of God: but he that doeth evil hath not seen God.(3 John 1 : 11)
But now ye rejoice in your boastings: all such rejoicing is evil. Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.(James 4 : 16~17)
If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?(1 John 4 : 20)
To put forth one’s own opinion before the Scriptures is no different from acting as though one were God. A faith that relies only on words and theories—intellectual, theoretical, emotional, and academic—is merely a faith of the flesh, bound to commit sin until death. The fact that one’s sins are repeated is clear evidence that such a person is a slave of sin and a child of the devil. The children of God do not commit sin. Whoever denies this denies the love of God in which His power works.
And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as he is pure. Whosoever committeth sin transgresseth also the law: for sin is the transgression of the law.(1 John 3 : 3~4)
In hope of eternal life, which God, that cannot lie, promised before the world began; But hath in due times manifested his word through preaching, which is committed unto me according to the commandment of God our Saviour;(Titus 1 : 2~3)
Those who claim to believe in God while pursuing the world and the flesh only put forward the name of God, yet they are the very ones who deny the love of Christ and refuse to submit. Those who cannot put to death the evil habits and members that follow the desires of the flesh become lifelong slaves of sin, repeating nothing but sin. Do not any longer be deceived by sermons that exalt nothing but words and theories, which cannot surpass the limits of the flesh, and thus bind you to a lifetime cycle of sin.
They profess that they know God; but in works they deny him, being abominable, and disobedient, and unto every good work reprobate.(Titus 1 : 16)
Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away. For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. Now as Jannes and Jambres withstood Moses, so do these also resist the truth: men of corrupt minds, reprobate concerning the faith.(2 Timothy 3 : 5~8)
If you would like more detailed content, please refer to the e-books Moses’ Burning Bush and The Day of Judgment(Author : Yo Han Lee). Also, visit the website(https://mosesbush.com) and seek out many questions available there.