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Christian here, I’ve been struggling with my faith lately and doubting God’s existence. It’s been tough, long story short besides praying on it is there any other suggestions?
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You have held from the very beginning a faith that is destined to collapse. And it is not only you—this is the case for all Christians. They continue repeating sin and repentance, sin and repentance, until the day they die. This is not the repentance of Christ. The repentance of Christ is not to commit sin; it is to be set free from sin. The Word declares that the children of God are freed from sin and do not commit sin. It also says that everyone who sins is a child of the devil. Therefore, those who continue to repeat sin are children of the devil, not children of God.
Jesus answered them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin.(John 8 : 34)
Whosoever abideth in him sinneth not: whosoever sinneth hath not seen him, neither known him. Little children, let no man deceive you: he that doeth righteousness is righteous, even as he is righteous. He that committeth sin is of the devil; for the devil sinneth from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil. Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God. In this the children of God are manifest, and the children of the devil: whosoever doeth not righteousness is not of God, neither he that loveth not his brother.(1 John 3 : 6~10)
But God be thanked, that ye were the servants of sin, but ye have obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine which was delivered you. Being then made free from sin, ye became the servants of righteousness. I speak after the manner of men because of the infirmity of your flesh: for as ye have yielded your members servants to uncleanness and to iniquity unto iniquity; even so now yield your members servants to righteousness unto holiness. For when ye were the servants of sin, ye were free from righteousness. What fruit had ye then in those things whereof ye are now ashamed? for the end of those things is death. But now being made free from sin, and become servants to God, ye have your fruit unto holiness, and the end everlasting life. For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.(Romans 6 : 17~23)
All Christians are under a delusion. They act as though they were truly Christians, yet those who do not live the life of Christ are not true Christians. This is why sin continues to be repeated. Because theirs is a fleshly faith for their own happiness, their own success, and their own prosperity in all things, they do not seek for the pain, the tears, and the mourning of the poor and afflicted. Nor do they ask God for the tears that enable them to love such people.
Instead, they seek only for matters concerning their own happiness and blessing—their family problems, business problems, workplace problems, relationship problems, children’s problems, and health problems. In other words, they do not seek the will of God that follows the love of the cross, nor do they seek the love of God united with the love of Christ; therefore, they cannot be born again, nor be changed, nor transformed.
In other words, you have built a city that is bound to collapse. You have sought lusts that can only form sin. The lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes inevitably become enmity and opposition against God. Envy, jealousy, strife, lust, pride, hatred, and lies are sins worthy of death before God.
And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.(Romans 1 : 28~32)
But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.(James 1 : 14~15)
All your life you have sought only those things that are worthy of death. Therefore, you are not a true Christian who has been born again, changed, and transformed. The tragic reality of Christianity is that all alike are in arrogance and pride. For men who have not been born again, nor changed, nor transformed to say, “I have received the Holy Spirit, I have received power, I have received gifts,” is to dishonor God. Such people are not those who follow the will of God. The will of God begins with denying oneself. Repent.