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I feel like I’m depressed for no reason, and I’m afraid that it’s causing me to stumble. Every morning I wake up and I feel so unmotivated to do literally anything, like read my bible, spread the word, or even go to church sometimes. I feel like I shouldn’t feel this way either, because God is good and I’m saved but I feel as though every single thing I do goes against him even though I know that it doesn’t. I try to hide my depression from everyone I know, but by covering up my sadness it covers itself with anger and hatred, rather than the joy I wish to show. My thoughts are infested with hateful and anxious words, causing stress in my life and annoyance towards others. I want to go out and spread the gospel, but my anxiety is so bad that even when I think about going out it causes me to get sick and I end up not doing it. I feel so like I don’t deserve God’s grace and goodness, and I have thoughts enter my mind telling me about how I’m not good enough, I don’t help anyone, and everyone I meet would be better off without me. I feel like I’m a bad person, and that I every single choice I make, and thing that I do is wrong. I hate myself, I hate my thoughts, I hate my actions, and I hate my sin and doubt. I’ve tried praying but anytime I feel like I get better and truly some joy, it all breaks apart and I fall into another depression. I need help, and I feel as though I can’t talk to my friends about this because I’m scared of what they think, or how they’ll see me differently from how they do now, or that they won’t want to be friends anymore. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know where in the bible to turn to, and I would appreciate advice for help getting through this. I’m sorry for the ranting and venting, but I feel as though I needed to get this off my chest.
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Christians are not true disciples of Christ. The faith of Christians, which takes the form of sinning and repenting, sinning and repenting again, will inevitably lead them all to experiences similar to yours. This is because, through sin, the conscience becomes increasingly desolate, and thus a continuous cycle of depriviation, emptiness, and anxiety is inevitably manifested. This is a disease that cannot be healed either by medicine or by the faith they claim to possess. For the true nature of your faith is, in reality, nothing more than a carnal faith that seeks only your own happiness, blessing, and success so that you may live well and prosper. In other words, it is a faith devoted solely to the blessings and happiness desired by all who belong to the world, and therefore it can only repeat sinning and repenting, sinning and repenting again until the day of death. Envy, jealousy, strife, lust, pride, falsehood, and hatred, as you can see in Romans 1:28–32, are all said to be worthy of death. You who repeat these capital sins until death are not the object of salvation.
And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.(Romans 1 : 28~32)
Jesus answered them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin.(John 8 : 34)
Whosoever abideth in him sinneth not: whosoever sinneth hath not seen him, neither known him. Little children, let no man deceive you: he that doeth righteousness is righteous, even as he is righteous. He that committeth sin is of the devil; for the devil sinneth from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil. Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God. In this the children of God are manifest, and the children of the devil: whosoever doeth not righteousness is not of God, neither he that loveth not his brother.(1 John 3 : 6~10)
But God be thanked, that ye were the servants of sin, but ye have obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine which was delivered you. Being then made free from sin, ye became the servants of righteousness. I speak after the manner of men because of the infirmity of your flesh: for as ye have yielded your members servants to uncleanness and to iniquity unto iniquity; even so now yield your members servants to righteousness unto holiness. For when ye were the servants of sin, ye were free from righteousness. What fruit had ye then in those things whereof ye are now ashamed? for the end of those things is death. But now being made free from sin, and become servants to God, ye have your fruit unto holiness, and the end everlasting life. For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.(Romans 6 : 17~23)
The Bible clearly records that everyone who commits sin is a servant of sin and a child of the devil. It also records that the true children of God do not commit sin and are set free from sin. Because sin is repeated, the conscience becomes increasingly desolate, corrupted, decayed, and ultimately destroyed. Thus, the form of most Christians divides into two paths: either they are tormented by guilt, or they gradually come to treat their sins lightly, becoming increasingly bold, confident, and shameless concerning themselves, until they fall into a brazen and disgraceful faith. This is the pattern held by the majority of Christians. They are the pastors of Christianity, the officers of Christianity, and the members of Christianity. Because they cannot help but repeat sinning and repenting, sinning and repenting again until death, their conscience becomes increasingly seared and desolate, and thus they are left with a faith that can only flounder in the cries of conscience, in depriviation, in emptiness, and in the endless pursuit of something that can never be satisfied.
Instead of abundant liberality and overflowing thanksgiving, they all hide behind appearances, pretending to be kind, pretending to be holy, pretending to be merciful, pretending to be good—yet their conduct inside and outside the church differs, their outward appearance differs from their inward heart, and their words differ from their actions. This cunning duplicity of tactics, which hides their conscience, is the true face of Christians today. The very fact that this problem exists proves that the majority of Christians bear no fruit and show no evidence. Christians are not disciples of Christ. A true disciple of Christ is one who takes up the cross, surrendering his life, existence, and breath, and follows after the love of Christ, living with the hope of Christ as his goal. Therefore, the carnal faith of Christians, who chase after the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes, seeking only their own happiness, success, and blessing, can only continuously conceive greed and sin until death.
It is not out of ignorance that they commit sin, but knowing sin, they still choose according to their own self-interest and follow the desires of the flesh. Thus sin cannot but be repeated without end. Never can awakening, resolution, or determination based on one’s own effort bring restraint or remove sin. No matter how moving the words and theories may be, the awakening, resolution, and determination of believers who rely on themselves are nothing but the limits of human effort, and by them they can never be born again, changed, or transformed. Not knowing even this most basic truth, blind men lead the blind, and so the gospel and faith of Christianity is not the gospel of Christ, nor does it follow the love of Christ and the power of God. Instead, man is deified, teaching only his own claims, his own wisdom, and his own will. But Scripture does not teach or guide us to remain bound to human limits; it reveals the power of God that surpasses human limits and leads us to receive it.
You have never had such an experience. This is because the way you have learned and heard has also been nothing but the repetition of awakenings, resolutions, and determinations through sermons that put forward only words and theories. This is why Christians, without exception, cannot help but repeat sin—because they live only for the life of the flesh. Christians who spend their entire lives praying only for family problems, business problems, workplace problems, relationship problems, health problems, and children’s problems are piling up nothing but sin through their vain prayers.
Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain; for the LORD will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.(Exodus 20 : 7)
For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death.(2 Corinthians 7 : 10)
A true disciple of Christ seeks the tears of others through the tears he himself has experienced, and lives for those who are in pain through the pain he has endured. His own tears, pain, suffering, trials, and sorrow become prayers of compassion, leading him to receive a heart of beauty supplied with the love of God. To guide believers into such a heart is the work of the true shepherd of Christ.
By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him. For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life.(Romans 5 : 2~10)
Who verily was foreordained before the foundation of the world, but was manifest in these last times for you, Who by him do believe in God, that raised him up from the dead, and gave him glory; that your faith and hope might be in God. Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren, see that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently: Being born again, not of corruptible seed, but of incorruptible, by the word of God, which liveth and abideth for ever. For all flesh is as grass, and all the glory of man as the flower of grass. The grass withereth, and the flower thereof falleth away: But the word of the Lord endureth for ever. And this is the word which by the gospel is preached unto you.(1 Peter 1 : 20~25)
For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world; Looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Saviour Jesus Christ; Who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works.(Titus 2 : 11~14)
Today, all forms of preaching in Christianity that exalt only words and theories are nothing less than a denial of the power of God manifested in His love. The faith of Christians who merely repeat their own awakenings, resolutions, and determinations—relying on themselves, where the power of God cannot work—can never obtain the power of God that operates within love to make them examples like the light and salt. Instead, it is a fleshly faith that seeks only the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, driven by carnal desire. Such a faith remains bound to the limits of humanity, unable to escape, and can only continue repeating sin until death.
Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.(1 John 2 : 15~17)
Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts. Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.(James 4 : 3~4)
The truth of God transcends the limits of man. In other words, the essence of truth is to resolve the fundamental cause by which sin must inevitably be repeated, so that we may obtain the divine power that surpasses human limitation even if we spend a lifetime awakening, resolving, and determining. To teach this truth is the duty of a shepherd. To lead people to receive the divine power that overcomes the cause and problem of sin, which lies in the limitations of man, is the true truth.
Yet today, because all pastors and believers of Christianity spend their entire lives teaching only with words and hearing only with ears, they deny the love and power of God. For this reason they have become increasingly corrupt, decayed, and utterly rotten, so that all manner of stench fills the land and defiles the earth. This is the tragic reality of Christianity today. Its form is no different from the religions of the heathen, and it is by no means the beautiful image of true Christians who, like light and salt, serve as examples and models.
If you truly desire to become a true Christian, then stake your very life and come here. And first, read the e-book titled Moses’ Burning Bush(Author : Yo Han Lee), and there(https://mosesbush.com) ask every question that you seek.
For the kingdom of God is not in word, but in power.(1 Corinthians 4 : 20)
That ye might walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God; Strengthened with all might, according to his glorious power, unto all patience and longsuffering with joyfulness; Giving thanks unto the Father, which hath made us meet to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in light:…(Colossians 1 : 10~14)
Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away. For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. Now as Jannes and Jambres withstood Moses, so do these also resist the truth: men of corrupt minds, reprobate concerning the faith.(2 Timothy 3 : 5~8)